How Snowboarding Saved My Life: A Journey of Recovery and Resilience
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I post a lot of content about Big SNOW & snowboarding, but I don’t post it because I’m sponsored or anything like that. Not in the least. Snowboarding and the existence of Big SNOW, America’s ONLY Indoor Snow Resort, is what saved my life in a very literal sense. Hi, I’m Diana. I go by “dreamlikediana” for a huge reason. In this blog post you will get to know some of the deeper aspects of what makes me, ME, but also understand how snowboarding & Big SNOW saved my life. Life is too short to not go after the things you have a good gut feeling about. It’s worth the risk. It’s worth the fear. It’s worth stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s worth it all, and if you read my post you’ll truly understand why and how everything truly in the end comes full circle. You just have to follow the breadcrumbs.
WARNING: I write the way I speak. So I might use some colorful language here and there. I don’t use it often, but I do use it to emphasize certain moments. Total curse word count in this blog post is (8).
Where it all began
There’s a story that my dad will not stop telling people, and it’s the day he knew he fucked up royally as a parent. As an 8 month old baby, my mother left me, with my father, for a little while to take care of some things with my sisters. She thought nothing could go wrong. He’s a parent too right? But men from the older generations weren’t raised to be active parental figures like women are. My father was doing so well at first! He bundled me up, put me in the backyard in the sandbox he made, and then he forgot about me. For several hours. Obviously, that one experience landed me in the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia where it would lead to many more health struggles at one point or another. The doctor warned my parents, I could definitely have asthma at one point or another.
I solemnly swear I've been up to no good since February 2nd, 1992.
Most of my childhood, I was a really wild and active kid. I didn’t have asthma, and I don’t remember getting sick all that much. I would get the stomach bug like everyone else. At one point I do remember trying to regurgitate air, but doesn’t everyone get at least one bad stomach bug in their life? Ultimately, I didn’t take part in sports in clubs or at schools, but I played with my friends on a tiny narrow street, where no cars passed, quite a bit. We’d play tag, cobs & robbers, dolls, we’d rollerblade, jump rope, and more. I’d race the neighborhood boys and win. I was highly competitive. Anytime someone said I couldn’t do something, you best believe, I, the daredevil, did it to prove them wrong.
As we got older, that never changed, at 14 I was still on that street. We’d walk to the nearby park to play soccer, tennis, or volleyball. My mom had let me take dance classes at some point during my childhood, so I did have a mini stint of learning tap, jazz, ballet, and hiphop, but I wasn’t very good at it. My dad boasts that he taught my sisters and I everything we know, like ice skating, riding a bike, etc, but it was not him at all. My dad is the worst teacher on the planet. He doesn’t teach. He pushes and then goes, “Well I’ve always been better than you.” “When I was your age I picked it up without anyone teaching me.” Imagine a grown ass man saying that to a child, their child! “Why can’t you get it?”
It took a village to teach me all that I know! My sister’s best friend was actually the one who taught me to ice skate. My non-blood related cousin actually taught me how to ride my bike & how to swim, kinda. I could only swim underwater well into my adulthood. I couldn’t swim with my head above water and I couldn’t float for a very long time. So when it came to learning to ski, my dad did what he normally does. He pushed me down a black diamond and called it, “teaching.” No pizza (to stop), no breadsticks (to go), nothing, absolutely nothing. I WAS TEN! And not only that, he fucking left me there ALONE.
I fell, obviously, lost both skis & poles, I felt horrible. I hated it! My other non-blood related cousin did teach me to ski at a later date because I’m not a quitter. But I just didn’t like it. I wasn’t fond of the sport, and I know without a shred of doubt I will never touch a ski again. I plan on snowboarding till the end of my days and it’s because of what had stuck in my mind ever since then.
Some snowboarders zipped by me. Others, the cool ones, stopped to help me up, grabbed my stuff, and walked me down the mountain. And it was through them that I was inspired. I felt it deeply then that I was meant to learn to snowboard. Of course, I tried to get my parents to get me lessons as a kid, but that didn’t happen clearly. It’s okay though, everything worked out as it was meant to. When I did have enough adult money, I invested in myself, my dreams, and made it happen. And it quite literally saved my life, and honestly, between you and me, for now, I’ll get into it further in a bit, I was prescribed snowboarding for life by not one but two doctors.
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The build up
My mom made me give up just about everything at one point or another that made me, ME. She made me quit dancing because it was time to “grow up and focus on my studies in high school.” She made me give up art & possibly attending an art school at 18. I was basically never enough. No matter what I did or didn’t do, something was always wrong and because of that, at some point I stopped spending time outside because it was “for children.” I stopped playing. I stopped being active. I spent a lot of time on the family computer. Whereas my dad, he saw potential in me but pushed me to the brink for his own selfish gain. So I just couldn’t win. But I quit his shenanigans because it was the only time my mom took my side.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s because of this period of my life that I taught myself graphic design and coding languages from the young age of 14. I was able to make money or barter for items with my online friends because of my skills. Back then online friends were different than the way things are now. Of course, to my mom, I was just spending too much time on the internet, but in reality I did something most kids didn’t do and it was invest in myself and my hobbies.
One of the very first few things I made "professionally" for print as a self-taught graphic designer.
Unfortunately, it became a necessity for me to learn to survive as a first generation Polish American. All our immigrant parents are the same, tiger moms & dads, strict upbringing, expecting us to learn to fend for ourselves at a young age because they did in their home country. But it’s not the same here in America. You can’t apply the same concepts without dire results, and in general, that shouldn’t be normalized. Everything that went on in the home, all the abuse, the screaming, the alcoholism, I remember my mom reiterating the words, “Don’t tell anyone what happens behind closed doors.” The amount of times cops showed up to our house because well… you know. But it was very typical of Polish families.
So I have been taking care of myself, taking myself to the doctors, figuring out important insurance paperwork, since I was a child. I have stayed home alone since I was 4. No child should ever have that kind of stress on them. Even at 14, children should still be seeing their friends not worried about needing to work or make money. My mother said, if I wanted something, I had to learn how to get it by myself. I had to work for it. And yeah, I’ve been working and having my own phone bill since I was 14.
And because of all that, I wasn’t active anymore. I learned what stress is from a young age. Low and behold, it ended up catching up with me. Soon after finishing high school my mom thrust me into a bartending school, and then would not accept the fact I wanted to take a gap year. I needed a break. I paid my own bills, but she wouldn’t listen. I hated bartending school, and right after that, she thrust me into a community college against my will.
I stayed for a bit, off and on. Tried to make things work, but because of everything I caught a bad bout of bronchitis soon after turning 20. It was so bad that I coughed hard enough to fracture one of my lower floating ribs. Do you know what the kicker was? I didn’t have health insurance. I lost it randomly too because I required my parents' income and for whatever reason I couldn’t use it or something like that? My parents don’t speak English, they have enough to get by, but that’s it. They refused to learn the language so my sisters and I would learn theirs. Make that make sense. Having to be a parent to myself and my parents throughout my life is not the way to live. My parents have helped here and there in their own means, but I figured just about everything in life by myself. And through it I learned and grew so much as a person, but at what cost?
I finally sought care from a doctor, incurring medical debt. Thankfully, I made a full recovery, but it wouldn’t be the last time something like this would happen again.
Here we go again.
After that incident, I finally was able to take a much deeper break from school, much to my mother’s dismay. I wasn’t always home in my early 20s. Since I covered my own bills, I was out. I was living it up. I was good, but when I needed to come home and have a place to stay again because I was hitting 25 and all my friends were “settling down,” my mom said, “On one condition, go to college.” Of course my parents made plans behind my back, to try and send me to college in Poland. My dad, once again, being self-absorbed and selfish, was trying to do something that would benefit his own selfish gains. Something that would be worthy of bragging about.
One of my many trips during my early 20s.
You’re probably wondering if I’m the oldest child? I am not. I am the youngest. The oldest child moved out the second she turned 18 with her clothes packed in trash bags in the middle of the night without anyone knowing or telling anyone goodbye. And the middle sister has had her own issues, let's just say.
Behind my parents backs, I applied to Penn State University and got in. Not only did I get in, the admission office remembered me for the essay I had written. My mom was thrilled because she heard of Penn State and how amazing of a school it was, and it just so happens my oldest sister went there too. I’m not going to lie, I was excited to start this new chapter too. When I toured the campus, it felt right to me. I had my break. I had my fun. I healed my burn out. Now it was time to get shit done.
I remember the day I told my best friend, Kate, that I was going to do a 4-year college degree in 2-years. I remember everyone telling me it hasn’t been done. That’s impossible, etc. etc. Except, I took a hard look at the classes I had to pursue, the plan I made, and saw that it was possible FOR ME, and that I would do it. Not only would I do it, I knew I could achieve it. And I did. I wasn’t delusional. I was realistic about MY capabilities. That’s the difference between you, I, and everyone else. I wasn’t built or raised like y’all. I was raised to take every inch of bullshit and make the most out of it.
I didn’t work during the first year of my college plan, but I made a lot of moves & connections. I was taking 10 classes a semester and took both summer semesters with 6 classes at a time. Summer semesters are condensed to 4 weeks, and yeah, I made it happen. Because I did the most in the first year, I didn’t have to take on as much during my second year. I was still taking on a full course load of classes, but I was also working between 30 and 39 hours per week. But I did it. I achieved my 2 year goal, but not only that but I also achieved my 3.51 GPA. I really wanted to graduate with a GPA of a 3.5 or higher, and I did. But at what cost?
I was fully capable of doing all that I did until the Fall semester during my 2nd year I had an impossible teacher. The annoying part was he was the only professor for that class I needed, and I couldn’t take it with anyone else. He was also fresh off the boat from Turkey, and boy did we butt heads. It was because of his old school mindset that the stress of everything caught up to me, and I caught my second round of bronchitis. This time around I was put on an inhaler and eventually was given an emergency inhaler to have every month after.
I couldn’t even take time off this time. I had a doctor’s note from missing one of his classes to get seen by my doctor, and he straight up yelled at me within the class and said, “THAT IS AN EXCUSE!” It was from that moment on I knew that person wasn’t human and may karma smile upon his mother fucking soul. I kept my head down the rest of the semester. Did my work. Got stuck with a shitty group project, did as much of it as possible, and then ditched out in the end because my health had gotten so bad I just couldn’t physically show up anymore. Every other teacher and department worked with me, not him. I passed with a C, but at least I took care of me.
My health was pretty decent after that, despite the fact I did have an emergency inhaler just in case. I didn’t need it until the pandemic happened.
Not just once, but two times.
When the pandemic started, I had begun working for myself and fully from home. Which through it I learned a lot about my capabilities even more, but it was also for the best as I look back because of everything I had gone through.
I caught COVID not just once but twice. I caught it the first time almost at the very beginning of it in January 2020. I thought, at the time, it was just the flu, but then I took one of those antigen tests at a later date that showed I had already had it. I knew when and I knew from who I got it because they later disclosed to me after the fact that their family also tested positive. I saw no one else but them. -__- This was also prior to the vaccine and the lockdowns, and remember, I have a history of health issues already so at this point I’m easily susceptible to upper respiratory infections. It hit me like a truck! It was ten days of agony!
I did, in hindsight, take the vaccine when it became available. I don’t know if it did it’s job or made things worse though because I took the booster, and I really feel like it made things worse for me and not better. Save your political opinions, save your religious opinions. I feel like the vaccine was probably fine on its own and the booster was unnecessary. I don’t take flu shots ever. I have always been one to only get the needed vaccines, and not the optional ones. So I don’t know why I took the booster but I did.
I had gotten the booster at the same time that it became apparent that my entire family tested positive for COVID. They refused to admit it. They still walked outside and around people without masks on. Heck, my dad will catch a cold now and will cough in your face -_-. Absolutely no respect or regard for anyone’s health, let alone mine.
I don’t know if it was the booster or if it was the fact I probably had COVID in my system also, or both, but this hit me harder than anything ever. It created lasting damage for the full one year. This was January 2022 by the way. My health up until January 2022 was pretty good & decent to be honest with you. I had frequent sinus infections, but those turned out to be caused by swimming. Other than that, I was in pretty good health I’d say.
After this every other month I ended up suffering again. I had a cough that would not go away. I had trouble breathing. By July, I had seen a specialist that put me on steroids which helped. It went away! So I went back to living my life.
At this point in time, I started solo adventuring more, but soon enough I found out any time I overexerted myself I would soon suffer again.
It was to the point my doctor’s pretty much gave up on me. I had constant inhalers. I couldn’t breathe. I’d end up in coughing fits most of the night which I couldn’t sleep from. No rest means you can’t get better, and they refused to care for me. They could not give me more steroids from that one time. Nothing else they gave me worked. It was as if my body had become immune to the prescription drugs. These doctors literally just sat there and did nothing. My own primary care was MIA and couldn’t help either.
So what’s a girl to do but live it up anyway? I refused to give up on myself. I refused to let this take over me. I had faith in myself. I also turned to herbal medicine and like home remedies. I gave myself rest when I needed it, but I also lived it up. These things wouldn’t last me a week or two, no, these things lasted me 3 weeks straight or a month. Coughing and hacking my lungs out.
But in a short amount of time, I went to a car show by myself, the Harry Potter exhibit at the Franklin Institute. I went hiking the Delaware Water Gap. I went ziplining down Camelback’s mountain and rode their mountain coaster. This was the year I took a solo road trip to Niagara Falls, Canadian side, and back. I drove 8 hours in one direction, explored it all in a day, and returned home the following day. It’s needless to say, despite my setbacks, I LIVED!
Was it worth it? Yes and no. Would I do anything different? No.
I still kept moving forward because life is too short to have regrets. Life is too short to wait on others for what you want to do. Life is too short period. And if I was going to have these issues for life, anyway, I might as well live it to the fullest extent possible. Am I right?
Right after I got better from my Niagara Falls trip, by this point in time it was mid-November, I was looking for my next big solo thing. I’ve been researching snowboarding lessons for quite some time now, and found Big SNOW American Dream quite a while back and bookmarked it. Through my research, I found that the price point at Big SNOW for lessons was more worth it than on any other mountain. Why? Because they were private lessons, and most mountain lessons were group lessons for the same price if not more. I’m 30 at that point, and I know myself, I need one on one instruction. Not only that, but if I’m investing in myself, I’m going to invest into the best. In my heart, I knew that Big SNOW was the best.
On the flipside, I wanted to also learn to snowboard because I felt it was going to be the thing that made me love winter. I absolutely hated winter! I’m a summer girly, but I am a winter baby. Born in the dead of winter, February 2nd. I have my reasons why I never liked being a winter baby, but i had many hunches from the time I was a child to these moments I couldn’t explain, where i felt, and knew, that snowboarding would change my life for the better in more ways than one.
I found my old screenshot from when I booked my lessons at Big SNOW!
So I hopped onto Big SNOW’s website and booked my snowboarding lesson for January 19, 2023. Why so far in advance? Because they were booked out for the rest of November & December. I had no other choice. But I was going to take it easy until then, rest up, so I’d be ready to go come January 19th.
The snowboarding journey
I’m one of those people that thought I would only need one lesson in snowboarding to pick it up. Boy was I wrong. Here’s the low down:
Snowboarding is easy to master, but hard to learn. Skiing is hard to learn, but easy to master.
It is so undeniably true. I knew a bunch of dude “friends” from my past, that are now blocked because they tried to say females are incapable of learning to snowboard. Mind you, these scrawny ass dudes who have never been active let alone been outside very much. If you got this far, you’d know I have a history of being active, but also, a history of grit. Basically what they said in full context was, “I’m a male and would pick it up faster than you. Females are incapable of snowboarding because you’re not biologically built for it.” MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE. I heard from a birdy that they tried and failed within seconds, and I’m out here shredding it at 32. They’re also younger than me, that’s why they’re fucking blocked. Don’t talk shit about what women can and cannot do, especially ME. There’s a reason why I go by “dreamlikediana.”
Anyways, I learned the hard way that I was going to need more than one lesson, but I was determined to learn because I loved how my first lesson made me feel alive.
Because I kept showing up, I noticed quite quickly, I didn’t need an inhaler anymore. Over exerting myself wasn’t leading to getting sick anymore. I was slow going and needing to take a break every two seconds, and a lot of people got on me about it, but I literally just came out of a year where I couldn’t breathe. I was sick all the time. So my lungs were working double time to catch up. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, none of that. I’m a young female who should have always been healthy, but played the cards I’ve been dealt accordingly.
Although I was still learning in April of 2023, and I was still taking breaks after every run I noticed a difference in my health. So did my doctor.
During one of my yearly checkups my doctor said, “Diana, I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep doing it!” At the time, I had no idea what he was pertaining to completely. I knew it was in regards to my health. Because up until this point, I tried everything and nothing else worked. I was going to the gym multiple times a week. I was eating right. I was sleeping right. I was swimming religiously. But nothing helped my health like snowboarding did.
I told my doctor I was learning to snowboard indoors at Big SNOW in the American Dream Mall, and he was like, “Keep doing it! Trust me!” It was after that visit that I didn’t need an inhaler again. I still had 1 back up emergency inhaler, but I didn’t have to use it for 11 months! For the first I used it again after low and behold my dad passed his upper respiratory infection onto me, and it hit me like a pile of bricks. Of course, it also lasted me 3 weeks. As soon as I was cleared, to an extent, I went back to snowboarding. I snowboarded all winter by myself. I grew so much as a snowboarder and as a person and it literally saved my life. I find passion and purpose through the sport. I am so in love with snowboarding.
I apologize for the quality and constant tag name in the photo. Due to people stealing my photos and claiming it as themselves or their own, I have to protect myself, my brand, and my intellectual property. Thank you for understanding!
I am in a long term relationship with the most amazing man ever who I met through snowboarding and also rides. (Fun tip: Doing the act of snowboarding is called “riding” instead of “snowboarding.” My friends or group chat will ask me when is the next time I ride since I commute quite a distance.) He also has his own profound snowboarding healing story. I was single for over 5 years, by choice, up until I met him. I would not settle. The relationship I have with myself is so strong because of everything I have gone through! I would not give that up for just anyone. Everything that I chose for me, invested into me, I dated myself. I established a beautiful relationship with myself, and I literally manifested the man of my dreams right at Big SNOW! Everything came full circle, it’s truly uncanny, but it’s because of how everything works together for good that I believe everything happens for a reason. Even posting this, right now, at this moment, when I felt inspired to write it.
It gets better. It doesn’t end here.
A few months ago, during another yearly checkup, with another doctor, I was told the same thing that the doctor from the year before he said. In addition to it, he told me that I had scar tissue on my right lung. From my history of health issues, I just knew. But it’s my journey that led me here, and snowboarding & Big SNOW saved my life. They still do.
I always knew something was wrong. I could feel it. I can still feel it. Whenever I take too long of a break from snowboarding I notice a huge difference in my health. I notice a tickle in my lungs starting.
To which the doctor reiterated,
“You need snowboarding for life. It’s what’s keeping your scar tissue strong. It’s what’s keeping you healthy. It’s what’s keeping you off your inhaler and a ventilator. You need snowboarding for LIFE!”
You heard it here. I was prescribed snowboarding for life. Now no one can tell me otherwise.
I have suffered minor injuries through this sport and learning, but everything is worth it for the longevity of my life. I love it too much to stop and no one can tell me otherwise because I’m just following doctors orders!
All in all,
If you ever wondered why I post so much about Big SNOW or see a lot of snowboarding content from me, from the past, now, or in the future. THIS IS WHY!
Snowboarding & Big SNOW’s existence saved my life.
But I’m still healing. Snowboarding healed me physically, but it also healed me mentally. It healed my burn out. It healed me on so many levels and different aspects of my life. I found an amazing community through snowboarding. Healing is never a linear journey. I will still always struggle with my health until I move out of the city. I only spend my time here partially as it is. And no one has to wonder where I’ll be! The goal now is to spend as much of my free time snowboarding as possible. Because snowboarding to me isn’t just a hobby or an interest anymore, it’s a way of life.
If you’re visiting Big SNOW, let them know 'dreamlikediana' sent you! The staff knows of me, and I’d love to see how many of you check it out!! Maybe one day they’ll create an affiliate code just for us!
Till next time!
~Diana
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