Insights from My Month-Long Social Media Detox: 8 Valuable Lessons Learned
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From August 2nd through September 2nd, I took a month-long social media detox. That meant NO Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok (even though I don’t use the app to begin with), Threads, etc. The apps and websites I did allow myself are apps I don’t consider to be social media as I don’t use them to engage or connect with others, such as: Pinterest, YouTube, and messaging apps like Messenger & my regular text messaging app. Social connections was highly encouraged, but there were times I needed a break from even that. Here are 8 lessons that I learned during my month-long social media detox.
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Sunset from my recent solo beach trip.
I had a few people still try to send me links to posts from the respective social media websites or tell me to check my social media inboxes when I explicitly told them I’m taking a break from them and will not be checking.
They said they were also taking “a break” from it, but when I logged back on after a month I had a million unread messages in various places from them. So much for their “break,” 🙄.
It just goes to show who respects the choices I make for myself, and those who think they know what’s best for me. It’s those same people I wouldn’t trade lives with.
Now I get to decide what type of relationship I want from here on out with them, and what types of boundaries to put in place.
More often than not, these are the same people who think just because they’re having a bad year, everyone needs to agree with them and also be having a bad year. Or just because they’re single, everyone around them should also be single. These are the people who tell you how to live your life, and are the exact same people that really need to put their phone down, turn off the computer, get off and go find some hobbies. Go on adventures alone, be uncomfortable in unfamiliar places, get themselves into situations that they normally wouldn't be in, and figure out how to get themselves out or make the most of it.
These people are highly codependent on others to do things. They can’t do anything they want to do alone, no matter how much they want to do it.
I never met a person I would want to switch my life with, and that says a lot.
2. Old habits die hard.
It's so hard to wake up without your phone & social media. Finding the drive to get out of bed when you're still groggy is really hard.
It’s not reality if you wake up every day energized to start the day.
I used to be able to get up for college without the use of social media or my phone, but I could only do it for a semester before I fell off from the habit. Even now, I can get out of bed on a moment’s notice on some days, but not others.
I found that when I didn’t have Instagram to use, I replaced it with a puzzle app. Eventually, it got me to be vertical, and I started my day and routine.
3. Sitting still isn’t easy.
Steps are at the Public Library of New York City. Took a day trip in August with my sister & niece.
I don’t have ADHD, but what we do have as a society is this thing called hustle culture. It makes us believe we have to fill every single second of our time with something. And usually it’s supposed to be some type of work, but as a society we’ve come to fill it with social media apps. I mean they’re made to be addictive, and in some cases they can be productive if it’s market research or you’re consuming educational content. Though the reality is, we don’t always need to fill every moment with something. There are moments where we should be bored. There are moments where we should be still, calm, and at peace.
But stillness is the hardest part, especially if you have a social media addiction like I did. I used to spend upwards of 3 hours plus a day on Instagram. No other app, just Instagram. Whether it was checking people’s pages, watching stories, filling my time with watching useless reels, second and triple guessing the bio of my IG page, yeah super stupid. Or even just sending reels back and forth between certain friends. I was on Instagram entirely too much, and never getting anything done.
I became unable to sit still because of this app.
Allowing myself to just be in the moment whatever it may be without searching for something to fill the empty space, it was definitely something to overcome. But now, I'm a lot calmer, that’s not to say I don’t struggle with it at times still though, I do, but it’s something I need to keep practicing.
It’s almost like meditating, but without the whole sitting in a pretzel going “ommmmmm.” Meditation doesn’t have to be just this one practice. There’s many different ways of practicing meditation, and one of them is just practicing being still and not filling the void.
By practicing stillness, I learned to listen to my own voice more. My inner voice, that gut instinct, what I know is best for me instead of what people around me or society is telling me.
I practiced making intuitive decisions, and I felt like my intuition got stronger because my relationship with myself did. There were so many times this month I was in situations outside of my home that gave me strong DANGER vibes, and I quickly acted to remove myself from those situations. At one point, some lady tripping on acid almost pushed me off a pier into the Hudson River. Just moments before I had an interaction with her, I had the worst gut feeling that I had in a while. I put my phone into my bag, something I never do, and when I was trying to leave, all of a sudden there was a strange woman blocking my exit from the pier. In broad daylight no less, she started to scream at me, not making ANY sense, not hearing what I was saying. Eventually, I did get out of there in one piece, but I learned my intuition is never wrong. All I needed to do was silence the noise to listen to it.
And because of it, I learned to live in the present. I learned to once again act on the things I wanted towards the life I wanted. I learned to get back to the person I was before society and social media defined my worth.
4. People will make you think you’re “missing out” on something when you’re not on social media.
Photo is self-taken from my recent solo beach trip.
This goes hand in hand with lesson #1. I learned that a lot of people will make it seem like you're missing out by NOT being on social media.
Do you know what happened when I came back? Nothing.
No one was doing anything cool or amazing or substantial. People were doing the same thing they were doing when I deleted all the apps, complaining too much about their life and things that don’t really affect them, they just think it does. Or people resharing reels that no one gives two fucks about. It's like 😒. This? I'm missing out on this? People with a scarcity mindset and nothing better to do? Yeah no thanks.
I definitely had urges to break my detox earlier because I felt like I was missing out on life, but I learned to work through the urges I had in wanting to know what other people are up to. In reality, I didn’t miss anything. I’m not living their life. We wouldn’t live their experiences together. It’s just all in our heads. It is a good way to keep up with close friends, but are they really your friends if they don’t take the time to be your friend outside of social media?
People on social media still don’t know all I’ve accomplished and I’m pretty cool with the fact they don’t know and don’t need to know everything that goes on in my life. Just as I don’t need to hear them bicker or complain about every non-relevant thing instead of actually doing something about it. I’ve been practicing an abundance mindset as best as possible and turning FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) into JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out).
5. My to do list & goals only seemed hard because I didn’t have a clear vision in mind.
Vision boards created by using graphics from Pinterest, compiling together in Canva.
I learned that when I handwrite my goals & tasks, they don't always get done. In fact, looking at them gets overwhelming and makes them feel a lot harder than they really are. There’s so many things that have gotten rewritten over and over again, each week, and month, that have yet to get done. Things I actually want for myself, but I never did because it seemed “hard” in a way.
So, right after I deleted all my social media apps, I made myself a vision board for August with Pinterest photos & compiling them on Canva. I used affirmations & quotes, and I put the completed version in multiple places that I could see. My phone, my desktop, my planners, etc. Once I started seeing the vision of what I wanted to accomplish, low and behold I was completing it and doing more because it was as clear as day to me what I wanted. This thing I wanted wasn’t hard at all. I had the time now (I had the time before), but I had more time now, and I just had to do it.
Our minds like to play tricks on us.
What did I accomplish you ask? A lot.
Pretty much EVERYTHING on my vision board besides the sparklers & waterpark. I went on 3 new adventures, like I wanted. I did more spontaneously. I worked hard when I was home. I didn’t get to work at a café, but the cafes around me either close too early or just aren’t working environments so that’s not going to be in my future anymore. I had a very epic August if I do say so myself. I feel like I fit an ideal worth of summer-related activities into one month somehow. That being said, once Labor Day weekend rolled around, I slept off any exhaustion I had built up. “Learn to rest, not quit.”
💖 Psst... I also run a small art shop! If you love cute, useful things like stickers, journals, or creative tools—check out what’s new in my store.
6. I learned to create for myself again.
Memory keeping spread of my NYC day trip in my Small (A5) Passion Planner Daily.
Social media, particularly TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Threads, etc. has made us think and feel that we should constantly be creating and putting content out there. When you’re constantly creating you’re not focusing on quality creations. You’re focusing on quality. These apps aren’t evergreen machines. What you post will only be alive for a few seconds. Someone MAY find it months from now, but it’s not really something we should be putting our all into because it leads to burn out or it leads to us copying one another or even stealing.
I definitely felt like I was comparing myself to other creators and felt down by my own performance. Instagram slashed their engagement for anyone that’s a small creator in June and I felt it ripple, but I was feeling the effects for months. I felt disgusted by anything I wanted to do because I didn’t want to do it anymore. Now, I learned to create for myself again.
Going forward, I’m reverting my creator account to a personal one. It’ll still be public, but I don’t want to produce creativity. Despite what Adam Moserri & the people who code Instagram dictate what the app is, I’m going to use it more intentionally. I’m going to use it as an open photo or video diary. I will create for myself and choose whether to share it with others or not. I won’t be creating to share to make a profit. It was a fun run, but definitely didn’t like constantly pushing for a sale. It left me shallow and hollow. It left me with no personality or substantial evidence that I had a life worthy of leading, and that’s how I view influencers who push products now. What’re you doing?
What I share on social media going forward is the byproduct of me living my life. I will not let my life be a byproduct of me creating quantifiable content just to keep up with the joneses.
7. You can’t find events or gatherings happening locally or in other locations through Googling.
Some goodies from the Bristol Alt Faire that I attended spontaneously on Thursday, August 3rd.
Every event promotion is done through Instagram or Facebook now, which makes NO sense. These apps and social media sites DO NOT utilize SEO, meaning your event is only being seen to a small fraction of people. Utilizing websites like Eventcreate, will help your event get more eyes on it. The only way I knew about events was through word of mouth, which is a shame. When you’re hosting an event, you want as many people to know about it as possible, therefore, you shouldn't just be using Instagram or Facebook to promote your event. It was really frustrating.
Also, if you’re using Instagram just to promote an event, even with no ads, you're only getting your event seen by a very small number of people because of how Instagram is these days.
8. I want to use social media intentionally.
I had a lot of emotions coming back to Instagram. I still didn’t download Threads or the others because I don’t care for them. My addiction was with Instagram, and so it gave me a lot of emotions to get back to this app, from fear, to nerves and anxiousness, to emotionless and feeling disconnected, to anger. Yup. Anger.
I felt anger towards seeing accounts I don’t care for first. Big brand accounts, influencers trying to sell something, big shop accounts, suggested content, etc. What for?! Why am I following these accounts? I don’t even like what they post. Yes, I know there is a “following” feature, but this feature should be the main feature, followed by the monopolies. Or stick the monopolies with the business and creator accounts, and leave personal accounts alone.
I muted suggested content as soon as I got on, and will continue to do so from here on out. I wish I could get the ads to a bare minimum, unfortunately, that’ll never happen since Instagram is money hungry.
I’ve been purging accounts I followed left and right, and muting stories of ANYONE that’s not family, friend, or an account I actually care for.
I’ve slashed about half of the accounts I was following.
I turned off my activity status because in the past I figured out how to use it to understand certain people’s social media habits and how they felt towards me. As a creator account, and after following a certain amount of people, there’s a way to see who’s been keeping tabs on you. And seeing that again, that right there, made me feel like I was going to revert back to my old habits. It was playing with fire. Therefore, I turned it off. Now I can’t see others, and others can’t see me. What’s meant to happen, will happen. Anything or anyone that is meant for me will not pass by me.
So before I even go to update my stories & feed posts of where I’ve been and the cool shit I created to share, I want to create a space where I feel safe.
Where I feel like I’m being intentional.
Which means, yes, I’m seeing less “performance content” I’ll call it. But that’s the point. I don’t want to spend all day long or every moment on Instagram. I want to use the app to update others where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. Engage with people I care about or accounts that I do give a fuck about, and then I want to get off and get on with my life.
Moreover,
My shop IG account has been dead for a while. Eventually I'll bring it back to life as I start releasing my physical products, but again, I plan on creating a strategy of some sort to be more intentional about my usage.
My stationery IG account, I was using it as an open photo diary of spreads I've never posted, but I literally have a lot of spreads I've never posted. As it goes, I will probably have something to post for the next 2 years or more, and I still wouldn’t catch up to my current planner stack which leaves me feeling… like I need a change. I want to place my outdated planner spreads elsewhere, maybe highlighting them here or there somewhere in the future, but I want to turn the account into something more present day and intentional like my main account. I’m not entirely sure as to what, but I just know I don't want to be spending too much time since Instagram is NOT an evergreen machine.
All in all,
I do feel refreshed and like I’m in a better headspace now. I was able to fix my sleep schedule successfully and stick to it. I started reading AN ACTUAL BOOK and not just webtoons before bed. I’m asleep no later than 1:30am, okay 2am sometimes, but I’m working on it. I’m up by 9:44am every day, on my own, no alarm clock. I’m trying to get it an hour earlier so I can work my gym schedule back to the AM. My snowboarding sessions will be resuming pretty soon and having a morning routine will be so vital to having a good snowboarding session so I can finally nail down my flaws and be able to take on mountain slopes!
I’ve come a long way in just a month by taking a social media detox. I’m well on the way towards living my dream life, and I’ve learned so much about myself, social media, and others during this time.
