header image, welcome graphic. youkoso which means welcome in japanese and anime version of me

You know when I first started this website, I thought I had to be prim and proper, but honestly, that's not me. Being "aesthetic" is not something I can be, and honestly, the vast majority of the population isn't either. How is that relatable? 

I read my old about page, and want to fucking hit snooze! Like what was I even thinking?! No seriously! I was hitting every criterion people told me my website, "needs to have" but honestly I never felt so bored in my life.

What does getting your shit together even mean? Honestly! I don’t have it all figured out, no one does!

It's such an open-ended question if you really think about it.

Getting your shit together could mean:

  • Getting a corporate job, with benefits, a salary, and something you are set to live life in 
  • Settling down and having a family
  • Realizing who you fucking are and your value and becoming a firecracker blazing through making your own path and trail
  • Going after your dreams and making an income from it

It could really mean anything because we're all different, and we all see the same sky, but it's what we see in it that makes us different. Truly.

So what's in it for you? 

I honestly have no fucking clue. But I don’t hold back. So there’s that. I’m wildly becoming more confident in my voice and power every day. 

Just check out my social channels.

It’s a process, but no self-shame! I mean I still fear looking at the analytics of how poorly or well I did. Numbers suck, there’s a reason why I don’t step on a scale because people have been judging others by the numbers for years. It’s nothing new that came out with social media, it just became exasperated. 

But I was in your shoes, self-rejecting myself. Getting lost and losing myself in the daily life, what people were saying, the media, everything. It’s all unsolicited.

Like get this, I don't know about you, but I come from immigrant parents and self-rejection is conditioned. It’s normalized. You’re told to never put yourself first, and taught from a young age to be something that follows the status quo. Love my parents, but… no. 

I went through so much shit as a teenager getting them to accept my dominance, my self-esteem, my confidence, my choices, etc. when they really wanted me to be this quiet dainty female. Like there’s nothing wrong with that, but that wasn’t me! That’s not me! I’m wild. I’m a firecracker. People like the idea of me. We are perfectly imperfect just the way we are, and the only way we get from point A to point B, C, or D is by putting in the work.

What does that mean?

  • Lifestyle Design
    • Just think: Mindset changes, quotes, affirmations, organization, planner and/or bullet journal spreads, goal setting, tip, etc.

  • Divergent education
    • Learning outside of an institution. “What is life trying to teach me right now? Right in this specific moment?” eLearning. Gamification. etc.

  • Life’s simple pleasures
    • Staying grateful, validating your own trials and emotions, having self-compassion, dating yourself, spending time alone, relationships and boundaries with others, and trying new activities and hobbies

I have legit scratched so many surfaces but yet I’ve still ended up lost, feeling like an impostor. 

Why?

Because the more we chase after the answers, the more we lose ourselves in the process.

self-improvement is important but don't hate your current self.

Let’s just recap some of the shit I’ve done in my 29 years, shall we?

  • At 14, traveling within the tristate area by myself with buses and trains before there were smartphones with maps available.

  • At 16, I had my first solo overseas trip, to Poland for 3 months and then with a small tourist group to Italy for 2 weeks.

  • At 17, traveling to indie concerts, getting guest listed, breaking out of my shell.

  • At 18 (2010), didn’t want to take my SATs, was forced to at least take them once. I knew already I didn’t want to go to college. I wanted a gap year.

  • By June 2010, I fully broke out of my shell and was more confident in being myself. Whilst before I was quiet, timid, and shy despite previous experiences. 

  • Summer of when I was 18, forced into bartending school. I became a bartender for a short while. It was short-lived and not for me.

  • Fall of when I was 18, forced into a community college by my strict parents who think college is everything when it’s not.

  • At 19 (2011), dropped out of college.

  • For 4-5 years after that, worked a series of odd jobs, partying it up, traveling whenever, and discovering myself.

  • Started college again from scratch in 2015 with the plan of finishing my bachelor's within 4 years.

  • Spring 2016, study abroad spring embedded trip to Japan. Let’s just say it got wild.

  • Fall of 2017, interned 30 hours a week, which later became part-time, and then a contract job for another year after.

  • In 2017 I finished my bachelor's.

  • 2018, stayed on for an extra semester to do an IST minor concurrently.

  • May 2018, graduated with a GPA of 3.51.

  • Mid May 2018, solo planned and executed a trip to Japan for a month to reward myself after the shit I put myself through the last 2 years.

  • December 2018 - May 2019: worked that contract job, left due to a change in management, and also realizing not only my value but that I could no longer grow within that company. Surely left my legacy behind because they’ve asked me to come back a few times. 

  • July 2019, started working for myself.

  • August 2020 became a Passion Planner Ambassador and started making money from sales.

  • August 2020, launched this website.

  • March 5, 2021, said fuck self-rejection and here I am.

So really, why dreamlikediana?

Because nothing is built overnight. Yes if it’s meant to be it will be, but we also have to work for it. We have to make changes to ourselves and our lifestyle. Not that, “hustle harder” bullshit, that’s not what life is about. You don’t have to always be go go going, sometimes you have to take a step back to reflect, to learn, to rest, to play. 

I have so many stories, dreams, and just shit to say! I want to see everyone do well. When people try to tell me shit like, “Shhh… don’t give out secrets.” I roll my eyes heavily. Like, “How is this a secret?” Their intention is to get your money, but they still don't want to see you do well for yourself. And I'm not about that. I’m not miserable or unhappy that I find comfort in tearing people down. That's not me. 

But anyway, you may only know tidbits about yourself, but that's where it all starts. You roll with the punches and figure out the rest along the way. 

Life isn't linear, it ebbs and flows. It’s dynamic, not static, and it’s completely okay to wake up one day and change your mind. Change is a strength! And on this journey, you’re going to need those inner voices because you will find many different paths you could possibly follow, and only you can really decide which one is for you. 

Go after what sets your soul on fire, experience and learn, and create a story to share. All stories are worth telling, and I'd love to hear yours.

And as I said, we all see the same sky, but it’s what we see in the sky that makes us different.

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