Reflecting on 2020 + Freebie

reflecting on 2020 worksheet goodnotes digital header image

After I finished writing up the reviews of Ali Edward’s One Little Word workshop and Lavendaire’s Artist of Life Workbook (which will be released in a week), I was left feeling empty. I wanted a way, that resonated with what I needed, to not only reflect on the year but also a way to bring my new goals and word of the year to life. 

I’m honestly hoping I’m not the only one that can benefit from this. It’ll center around you being the protagonist of your own story with the freebies I include in this month to month journey, but also I will be sharing my own story and journey in the posts as well. I won’t be omitting anything I have to say about what’s going on, just purely raw material because when we think about a story, any story, it has both good and bad parts. We can’t avoid the bad parts, we have to face them.

If you’ve guessed it, you are the protagonist of your own story. Always was, always will be, and with that, you can control what it is you want your story to go. How you want your story to unfold. Your sky is a representative of the uncertainties and also the possibilities that are out there waiting for you. They won’t just appear, you also have to put it in the work. Take one step at a time and move forward.

Each month will be accompanied by a short digital letter catching up with you and what’s been going on, but also explaining the activity that I chose for that month to bring my goals and word to life. I hope you stick around for the journey, whether for one month, a few months, or all of them I’d love to hear your story! As I say, we all see the same sky, but it’s what we see in it that makes us who we are. 

Happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.

Reflecting on My Vision Board/Intentions

What Came True

  1. Grew out my nails, and learned to stopped biting them. There are definitely some hard days, but I get through them, even if I file my nails, trim them, and then I just start again. But I’m not destroying them as I once was.
  2. Grew out my eyelashes, sometimes it’s hard still because I feel like me rubbing my eyes from being itchy makes me lose them and I just feel like they’re ugly when I do that. But I just curl them, add vaseline to stop the itching, and am very happy that I didn’t make things worse.
  3. Ate a lot of good food in the past year.
  4. Learned some basic cute hairstyles, but I also fell in love with my hair and I haven’t been in love with my hair in such a long time! I love how natural it is now. From the length to the color, I love this newfound acceptance.
  5. Brought in finances in other ways than the norm, and really taught me that I am capable of absolutely anything.
  6. Practiced good habits often.
  7. Made my vision boards visible.
  8. Practiced more self-care.
  9. Went after what set my soul on fire.
  10. A much better year than 2019, definitely. I had some amazing moments and expressed gratitude and joy throughout!
  11. Definitely feel more magical and goddess-like, it’s still a process, but there are days where I just feel amazing!
  12. Definitely feel ENOUGH!
  13. Fell in love with my body more and have been wanting to take care of it. Started swimming over the summer, 3-4x a week. Tried out indoor rock climbing, loved it until I hurt myself, and then I realized I wanted to work with a personal trainer to really be in the clear. I also started to walk at least 3x a week, weather permitting.
  14. Realized who I was, came back into the fullest version of my authentic self! Became more, me!
  15. Instilled new boundaries with others whether it’s with people I know or not. I get called a cunt and a bitch sometimes, but you gotta be what you gotta be! None of that, I feel bad bullshit just to make others feel better. Fuck off! Don’t disrespect my space. Let some friends go, but it happens.
  16. Cultivated some existing relationships, let others go, and rekindled with others. Especially with my two cousins Natalka and Filip. This year, speaking to them frequently has been such a game-changer in my life!
  17. STARTed a LOT!
  18. Was more creative, acted on ideas, or wrote them down for future use, and finished projects!
  19. Started posting to YouTube and TikTok for shits and giggles. It’s fun learning and trying new things, but I also don’t know if I could always do it. I feel like I maybe just haven’t found the thing I’m interested in filming or putting out there. I thought I’d love to do planner stuff, but honestly, it becomes a drag!
  20. Started sharing more of my stories, lessons, and experiences but not much of my journey.
  21. Kept up with all my planners, but decided to walk away from the majority of them and try my own hand at making something great. This is the start of something new!
  22. Felt all of which I wanted to feel during this year, not all at once, obviously, but at some point, I felt each and every feeling. Euphoric, in love with life, inspired, inspirational, bright, capable, exhilarated, perceptive, quick-witted, abundant, blessed, successful, enough, empowered, guided, grateful, motivated, joyous, magical, dauntless, goddess-like, adventurous, and the “yes! =D I did it! Woohoo!” feeling.
  23. Invited many things into my life that actually happened: abundance, opportunities, magical, meaningful interactions, self-care, adventure, money, good habits, health, success, fun, memories, empowerment, life, dedication, motivation, soul fire, depth, love, trust, honesty, connection, pure joy, wings, against all odds but do it anyway, and mind over matter!
  24. Certain things I wanted to let go of, I did, but all of which are an evergoing process. I realize it doesn’t just end, it’s a constant thing I need to work on. Some of which I was able to let go of was: doubt, contentment, tiredness, laziness, fear, finding self-worth in numbers, being too nice to people who don’t deserve it, clutter, useless spending, bad habits, and senseless procrastination. But I know there are some really hard days when everything comes right back, and I will constantly have to act on these to really walk away.
  25. Had more: physical documentation of my journey, experiences, and wins. Made time for the things that mattered to me.
  26. Had less: negative mental chatter, bitterness, mindless social media scrolling, allowing others to mistreat me, but also taking things to heart, less.

What didn't

  1. Wasn’t able to cook as much as I wanted to or prepare meals.
  2. Didn’t get accepted for that scholarship, and haven’t been quite sure if that’s the path or journey for me. 
  3. Didn’t take all the adventures and solo experiences I was supposed to because of COVID.
  4. Didn’t completely let go of bitter negative people.
  5. Didn’t get to share all my experiences, lessons, and journeys through YouTube and Instagram like I wanted to. Like I said I would. Instead, my feed looks aesthetic, but honestly, I take photos and forget to post them.

A lot of these had outside circumstances outside of my control. Besides #6, I think I’m just not entirely sure what I want the message to be so I haven’t really followed through with it as much.

Digital goodnotes5 reflecting on 2020 worksheet image

How do you feel about it?

Life threw a bit of a curveball in the last month or 2. It made me feel lost. you may think I’m always lost, but I’m really not. This year has been profoundly pretty decent for me. I got over an identity crisis by staying present. I started a website. I worked really hard at something I believed in, and even though it didn't work out, it makes me wonder if I really wanted it? 

The fact is, I don't know if I want it anymore. If it's what I need in my life. I do want it, at some point, I know that, but at the same time, I don't know if it's what I need right now. I don't know which path I’m walking on. I guess you could say I’m on an unmarked path at the moment. Eventually, I’ll get to a marked path and not feel so lost. I’m okay with the unmarked path though. 

At first, when I felt it again, I was panicking, blaming myself, and wracking my brain for answers but things don't happen at will. Things don't happen at random. All I can do is work towards things I’m passionate about, take chances I believe in, and hope that I’ll find my way again. that means I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want and that is 100% as much of a choice as what I would want. 

{Phoenix} will never leave me. It will always be a journey of the self. I will become the journey. and that's where this leaves me. I do know and am 100% certain, the word for 2021 will be {Shift.} It's the only thing right now that feels so right, and that's completely okay. I accept living in this present state as uncomfortable and scary as it may be at times. I don't have to have it all figured out, even at my age.

What do you want to remember?

  • Swimming 2-3x a week was my saving grace. I loved pushing myself in the water. I loved growing muscles from swimming so much.
  • Climbing an indoor rock wall and accomplishing a problem was so exhilarating. Getting to the top just felt like I could do anything! I felt like I was on top of the world. Jumping down felt scary, but when I did it, I was so happy and in love that I did.
  • My head makes up too many stories of "I can't" when really "I can." I know it’s a process and won’t change overnight, but I know my journey with {Phoenix} will last for years to come
  • 2020 wasn't the year I planned it out to be, but life doesn't happen according to plan. And that's why I know 2021 is going to be about {Shift}, letting go, constantly making changes as things happen, roll with the punches, and being ready on the fly to turn when life tells me to.
  • Even though I knew what I wanted in the beginning, it's totally okay to change my mind or not know what I want anymore. The important thing is, I still know what I don't want and that is as much of a choice as what I would want. The rest will come eventually. I just need to live the questions.
  • The little wins. and the big ones. and all the highlights in between. How it feels to feel this special! like, "Oh you chose me!"

2020 Wins

  1. Got clear on what I wanted for this year
  2. Got clear on what I wanted 10 years from now
  3. Wrote a research plan
  4. Applied to the MEXT scholarship
  5. Received amazing recommendation letters from Dr. Chewning and Dr. Brinkert
  6. Got to see Dr. Brinkert in person and gift him a bottle of Polish wine as gratitude before his passing
  7. Got a lot of work done, made moves, took action
  8. Started working towards combating fears
  9. New room organization
  10. New computer setup
  11. Learned how to use Procreate, and getting better every day!
  12. Grew out my nails!
  13. My eyelashes are healthy and amazing
  14. Started to make my bed right after I get out of it!
  15. Clean my room much more often
  16. Got my car fixed!
  17. Got full coverage car insurance after having partial insurance for 10 years!
  18. Grieved and accepted I can’t force a relationship, and amicably left the one I was in
  19. Read more books!
  20. Became close with Paula
  21. Rekindled with Kate
  22. Rediscovered me, my confidence, and who I am as a person
  23. I feel mentally stronger
  24. Focused on personal development and growth a lot
  25. Got a godson!
  26. Posted my first few youtube videos
  27. Posted to TikTok
  28. Random IG reel went viral, over 1k
  29. Designed, created, and made all planner stickers by hand
  30. Learned how to use the Silhouette Studio and the Silhouette machine to cut out stickers, it was a lot of work to figure out especially in a small room but the results were AMAZING
  31. Cooking more
  32. A steady weight of 124 pounds
  33. Swam 2-3x a week in the summertime
  34. Grew arm muscles
  35. Became obsessed with fitness
  36. Tried bouldering, loved it, and got up 3 VB walls my second day into the introduction!
  37. Learned how to rock climb
  38. Updated computer parts
  39. Signed up for the YMCA for free through my health insurance
  40. Switched my sleeping schedule, but still working on completely fixing it
  41. Maintained an amazing relationship with Dr. Chewning
  42. More self-love
  43. Months and months, free of Facebook addiction. I don’t use Facebook at all anymore
  44. Met some amazing people
  45. Became a Passion Planner Ambassador
  46. Been pretty religious with my skincare, and my skin has been feeling and looking amazing
  47. Had an easy shift to my new birth control
  48. Took care of my friends and sent them kindness and surprise treats
  49. Took advantage of free resources (2 months free skillshare, brit&co classes)
  50. Allowed me to be flexible when needed
  51. Outlined first YA novel
  52. Got a stimulus check because of the pandemic
  53. Did my taxes and got a nice tax refund
  54. Started to hike more
  55. More phone detoxes
  56. Started to walk daily
  57. Studied Japanese seriously and profusely for a month
  58. Decided to try my best whatever the results came out to be in applying for MEXT
  59. Learned how to edit videos on HitFilm Express. I know basics, like to cut, add, export, import, some color correction, adding effects and transitions, cool designs.
  60. Spent more time with Ryry and Noelle, had movie nights with each
  61. Got a slight tan
  62. Swam in deep water!!! Conquering a huge fear of mine!
  63. Jumped off the docks into a lake
  64. Set up my new planner quite quickly, and in advance too
  65. Launched my website
  66. Write and schedule posts in advance
  67. The website launch went REALLY well over 300 views within 24 hours
  68. Turned my Pinterest account from personal to business and claimed my website
  69. Grew my Pinterest following, and receive 1 million views per month now
  70. Showing up for myself more
  71. Investing in myself more
  72. Finally got to see the sunflowers and take sunflower photos
  73. Aneta’s supportive text, “I think you are going to be great at whatever you do because you have the brain of a creator and a leader. You do your own things and they all work out, you research so many things I’ve never heard of yet. You’re like one step ahead every time I talk to you.”
  74. Designed my own business cards through Procreate, 
  75. Business cards came out amazing in real life! So excited and happy with them
  76. Went out to eat Pho with Ev, which is a big deal because I never get to go out to eat with Ev
  77. Exploring parks and trails more on my own
  78. Finishing old shows I stopped watching or catching up with them
  79. Making money through published articles on Passion Planner and other sites
  80. Made my first referral sale on Passion Planner
  81. Made over $25 in referrals from my Passion Planner ambassadorship
  82. Made more referrals than I thought I would.
  83. Working on writing and creating a brand identity & website ebook/eworkbook to self-publish on Amazon. 
  84. After speaking about my book with Dr. Chewning, she said she will be using it as additional teaching material for the Corporate Communication Capstone class
  85. Decided to open up my own Etsy shop offering digital goods that I create
  86. Coined the term Divergent Education, it may sound funny and odd but to me it means a lot
  87. Writing articles of which I’m passionate about because I’m trying to build a platform I can leap from
  88. In less than a week from its release, the Reading Bookshelf header image that I pinned to my board received 1.26k impressions!
  89. The Pinterest pin of the reading bookshelf received 404 impressions within less than a week.
  90. My blog posts Crafting an Unforgettable College Essay and Reading Bookshelf received the most impressions
  91. In less than 24 hours my new review pin “Is Skillshare Worth It?” for Pinterest got over 813 impressions and 1 save - 10.16.2020
  92. Got an opportunity to work on a success story, but declined it due to the wording of the email. I just felt a huge win when declining it. It was because they thought success is finite. Success as in landing a job. Like no, no, no. Declined it because it doesn’t correspond with my brand voice. I know my value and worth and stick to authenticity and integrity.
  93. Cut coffee out of my life.
  94. Started uploading videos to my YouTube Channel
  95. Haven’t read manga in many many many years, and finally read and finished 2 mangas that I used to read: Charming Junkie and Anonymous Noise.
  96. Haven’t watched anime just to watch anime for many many many years, and finally, just let myself breathe and search for anime I might be interested in and watch anime.
  97. 5 new email subscribers; 7 freebie downloads; 1 person came from the subscribe landing page (December 2020).
  98. Had a lot of good days, and many content days. Not as many bad or sad days. And a few good amazing days!
  99. So many new bullet journal spread ideas, turning them digital, is such a huge win! Because I don’t have to keep recreating them for my future planners. ♥
  100. Pushed myself to take more planner photos, really love seeing my creativity come to life ♥
  101. I feel like 100 bucks! I feel really good about myself! And that is the greatest way to end the year. 

    How did my life transform in this past year?

    • Became more certain of who I am and the person I want to become.
    • I launched a website. I LAUNCHED A MOTHER FUCKING WEBSITE. I’ve been saying I’m going to do it for years, and now I finally did! OH MY GOD! It’s made such a difference to work on it and bring it to life, and constantly work on it.
    • When I think back to a year ago, a lot about my life has changed. A lot has constantly kept changing in a short amount of time. It’s honestly wild thinking about all that’s happened within the year! I was still in a relationship, I was ready for 2019 to end, COVID wasn’t even a thing and then it was, I thought I was going to do all these things. Thought I was going to live my life to the width of it, and not just the length of it, but life had other plans. Nonetheless, it was a well-rounded year. I’m very proud of myself for being consistent, pursuing things despite the odds and ends of what others tried to tell me, and not breaking down when things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. I’m proud I walked through the fire and came out unscathed, it makes me that much stronger and capable for what’s next.

    One thing I learned

    Action beats fear any day.

    One thing I’m proud of

    Facing all the bad parts, and never once looking back. I’m actually grateful for all the bad parts.

    A mistake or weakness I will improve on

    I don’t stretch enough.

    The moments that brought me pure joy

    • 1/3 - in love with my first ever digital vision board
    • 1/8 - when i put my ipad screen protector down perfectly without bubbles
    • 1/11 - driving around for fun listening to music 
    • 1/20 - opening gifts joey got me
    • 1/28 - pre-bday celebrations with paula
    • 2/2 - my birthday
    • 2/15 - celebrating my birthday w/ caileen and lauren at round1 n taking photobooth photos together
    • 3/7 - my car is ready!!
    • 3/14 - picked up my car after being car-less for 3ish months!!!
    • 3/15 - matt fixed my computer for me and hooked up the ssd properly!
    • 6/8 - mext opening up
    • 6/30 - bbq at paula's with andi and his friends
    • 6/21, 6/22, 6/23, 6/25, 6/29 - solo swims ♥ in my backyard swimming laps and tanning under the sun
    • 7/2 - pool day with paula
    • 7/5, 7/7, 7/8, 7/13 - swim & tan
    • 7/16 - when joey bought me macarons
    • 7/18, 7/19, 7/20, 7/27, 7/29, 7/30 - swim & tan
    • 8/1 - Swam in deep water for the first time conquering a huge fear of mine and jumped in off the docks!
    • 8/9, 8/10, 8/14 - swim & tan
    • 8/10 - was accepted as a passion planner ambassador!
    • 8/17 - Launched my website, turned Pinterest into a business account, and got my first email subscribers thanks to my freebies!
    • 8/18, 8/21 - swim & tan
    • 8/22 - a walk that went horribly wrong with caileen and lauren
    • 9/3 - random ig reel went viral 1k+ views & i got my car back after my dad used it for 3 weeks
    • 8/27, 9/4, 9/6, 9/8 - swim & tan
    • 9/12 - sunflower photos with lauren & caileen
    • 9/13 - when noelle gave me a panda in a donut sticker
    • 9/14 - learned to rock climb and flirted with a hot older guy OMG
    • 9/18 - climbed on my own and got up! did some vb walls. was hard at first but it was so much fun and exhilarating!!
    • 10/5 - got my xiaomi mi band 5
    • 10/9 - solo mini hike and explore at lorimer park :)
    • 10/23 - out in lancaster, pa w/ aneta & noelle. got some awesome photos taken!!
    • 10/24 - ren faire w/ lauren, zach, and caileen :D
    • 10/26 - treating myself to her daughter's cafe!
    • 11/23 - finished reading fukumenkei noise
    • 11/24 - finished reading charming junkie
    • 11/26 - thanksgiving food
    • 11/27 - spending the day at aneta's doing absolutely nothing
    • 12/13 - xmas lights w/ ev, ryry, and mommy
    • 12/16 - first snowfall!
    • 12/23 - when Ryry called me on the phone to ask me what I want for Christmas T_T too cute and precious
    • 12/24 - when Ryry gifted me with a panda lamp ^_^
    • 12/26 - felt like 100 bucks, slept so good! Took a 3km walk in the cold, and that felt amazing! Stretched! Took a hot shower! Did a full skincare and chilled!

    2020 in one word was ______


    Digital goodnotes5 reflecting on 2020 worksheet image

    Freebie ♥

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    Wrapping it Up

    I really enjoyed making this because I felt like this helped me get clear on the past year. It may change next year. If you liked this or want a monthly reflection instead check out my freebie for that here.

    If you like my freebie, be sure to follow me on Instagram @dreamlikediana and tag me when you use it! 

    Question of the Day

    In one word, how would you describe 2020?

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    Till next time!


    reflecting on 2020 freebie pinterest pin